The Rebel
by Kharina1990
Summary: 'My name is Aftran 942. I am an alien, a Yeerk. And I am about to die. The only uncertainty is how.' Aftran 942 waits to learn her fate at the end of number 29. When she is offered a nothlit form, she chooses a different animal than in the book. How will her choice affect the rest of the series and the outcome of the war? Obviously AU. Rated for language and later violence.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** if I owned Animorphs, it wouldn't be as well written as it is now. And Aftran would never have become a whale. I don't own any of the characters, species, situations etc. that you recognise in this fanfiction.

**Author note:** I can't get the thought speak symbols to work on here, so thought speech is indicated by ordinary brackets (). If anyone knows a magical secret to make them work, please let me know in a review or private message. Thanks!

My name is Aftran Nine-Four-Two of the Het Simplatt pool. I am an alien, a Yeerk. And I am about to die.

The only uncertainty is how it will happen. The human Cassie is currently deciding, along with her fellow Animorphs, whether they will kill me quickly, at my request, or whether I will be fated to wait for another two days until my body starves to death from lack of Kandrona rays. It is the most painful death we Yeerks know. I do not have much hope. Cassie hates killing, even for the best of reasons. To kill a friend, even to save her pain, will be even worse. In a way, I cannot blame her. I cannot stand violence either. I do not envy her this decision. Perhaps I should not have asked, but I could not help it. Maybe I am a coward, but I could not help but take a chance, however slight, of gaining myself a slightly less painful death.

When I told her, she tried, with typical human determination, to think of a way out. She offered to let me stay in her, to take me to the Yeerk pool herself. An unacceptable risk, as she really already knew. There is no way out. Perhaps, if they take their decision quickly enough, I can see my mate Illim before I die. Cassie did promise to let me infest her again before the end to let me know their decision, so at least I will see colour one last time.

My thoughts are interrupted as the touch sensors along my body detect a vibration in the water. I aim my echo-location upwards to detect the shape of an ear above me. Cassie's ear. This is it, then. Slowly, I swim upwards to learn my fate.

I secrete the usual numbing chemicals and slither into her ear, probably for the last time. I am glad of the distraction of infestation: I no longer have time to think as I struggle to wiggle through the tight ear canal and carefully rearrange the small bones of her middle ear to make way for me.

Eventually, I sense the pulses of electricity ahead and, with trepidation, begin to make the first connections to her brain. I know I will know my fate before I fully connect to the brain and am able to speak to Cassie's consciousness.

The first thing I notice is that Cassie's mind does not seem particularly distressed. As I move further into her mind, the memory of her recent discussion with the other Animorphs opens up for me: she is clearly holding it at the top of her mind, and I have no need to search for it. Nervously, I begin to play it.

"_We can't let her die," Cassie's voice says in her memory. I can see the other Animorphs and Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill arranged around her. They look ill to varying degrees after their experience. Marco is lying on the hay bales, looking pale; Jake sits in a chair, a bowl strategically placed not far away, and Tobias is perched close to Rachel, resting his hawk head against her arm. Aximili is lying down; the first time I have ever seen an Andalite doing so._

"_It doesn't sound like we have another choice, Cassie," Rachel said gently._

"_No," Marco agreed. "She's right, staying in you is far too risky. You'd get caught eventually. It's just not worth it."_

"_You're talking about her life, Marco!" Cassie exclaimed angrily._

"_And she agrees that it isn't worth losing the war for, Cassie!" Marco shot back._

_(Let's not argue,) Tobias said. _

"_I don't know if I can kill her," Cassie said, tears running down her face._

_(I never thought I would say this about a Yeerk,) Ax interjected, looking disgusted with himself. (But she has fought bravely and not betrayed us. She deserves an honourable death. I would be willing to carry this out, if my Prince agrees.)_

_Cassie and Ax both looked towards Jake. He had been quiet, his brow furrowed._

"_Are you feeling OK, Jake?" Cassie asked._

_He nodded. "I was just thinking."_

"_Quick, someone get him a card," Marco quipped._

_Cassie whirled round, opening her mouth, but Tobias beat her to it._

_(I don't think it's really the time for jokes, Marco. We're losing a friend today.)_

"_Maybe we're not," Jake said._

"_Jake, she can't stay in Cassie," Rachel pointed out._

_Jake shook his head. "I know. That's not what I was suggesting."_

_(What is it, Prince Jake?) Ax asked._

"_You're not going to like this, Ax," Jake said. "But I think we should use the blue box again."_

_There was silence for a moment._

"_That didn't work out great last time," Marco pointed out._

"_Aftran's no David!"_

"_Anyway, I don't see how it solves the Kandrona problem," Marco added, ignoring Cassie._

"_Normal morphing wouldn't. But it would if she was a nothlit," Jake pointed out. "And then there'd be no risk of another David. I'm saying we give her the power, she chooses a morph and stays in it for two hours while we stand guard."_

_Cassie sat down, suddenly, tears flowing down her face. "Oh, Jake, thank you. Thank you."_

My sentiments are similar. I don't need to see any more.

(We all voted in favour of the morphing option,) Cassie says to me, sensing me disconnect from the memory. (Even Ax, in the end. Something about saving a life deserving an equal return. Like that, anyway.)

I remain silent for a while, unable to speak. It's all too much… not only life, but a life with mobility and hearing and eyes… my own eyes, without a host crying for their freedom. I had never imagined I could feel so much joy and relief at once, but now I do.

(Aftran?)

(Thank you, Cassie,) I manage to say through the emotions flooding my mind. (Thank you so much.)

(All you need to do now is choose your morph,) she replies. (Maybe you'd better stay in me for now: you can look at the memories of my morphs, and what I know about animals?)

I take her suggestion, and begin to search through the memories of Cassie's morphs. As I look at the memory of her osprey morph, I feel expectation rise within her. It's true: I loved that morph, the one time I tried it. The eyesight and freedom of flying were superb. Nevertheless, the lifespan is short, and the ability to communicate with other sentient beings limited to thought speech. I move on, looking at the wolf, the horse, the humpback whale, the Hork-Bajir. I linger for a little on the last one. I have been a Hork-Bajir. They are strong, they can manipulate objects, they have decent eyesight, and most of all they can communicate.

(You'd need permission,) Cassie says uncertainly.

(From more than one Hork-Bajir, if I can,) I agree. (I want my own identity: I do not want to be a clone of someone else.)

(I could try and find out if they would, but-)

Cassie needs say no more. I can understand her doubts from her thoughts: she doesn't know if I will get permission. Toby the Seer is a possibility, but she doesn't know if the other Hork-Bajir will understand the situation well enough to give DNA to a Yeerk. Especially after some of the things that have happened to them at the hands of the Yeerk Empire. I disagree: I think they might, but it would be a long wait while the Animorphs found time to travel to the valley, explain and ask. I would be in a lot of pain from the lack of Kandrona by then.

I hesitate. I want a sentient species, really. Non-sentient morphs are all well and good for a short time, to enjoy their senses or their unique view of the world, but to become a nothlit as one by choice… no. It means you are alone. Oh, you can talk to others by thought-speak, but there is no other sentient being who truly understands your perspective of the world. You have no way of communicating naturally, other than by thought-speak, with another sentient being. They do not understand the body language or the natural communications of your species, and you may well find it harder to interpret theirs. But then, Hork-Bajir gestures were not easily understood by humans, and I wanted to be able to communicate with my human as well as Yeerk friends. Also, I do not want to get involved in violence again. I already transitioned to a human to escape physical violence once…

Hang on, that was it! My joy is short-lived, though. Is it even going to be possible?

(Have you decided, Aftran?) Cassie must have felt my sudden certainty.

(Yes,) I reply. (Human, if possible. And it needs to be more than just your DNA,) I add quickly, in response to her thoughts.

(I hadn't expected that,) Cassie says.

(I know. Not sure how, it's not like I see everything that you think or anything.)

She laughs.

(Will anyone else agree?) I ask, becoming serious.

(I'm sure at least one will. Jake, at the least,) Cassie says.

(Let's hope Marco or Rachel do, as well. Otherwise I bet you a dollar the first words out of Marco's mouth once I morph are: 'so that's what your future kids will look like, Jake'.)

Cassie laughs again. (I don't think I want to take that bet.)

(Speaking of, did you and Jake ever finally admit that you like each-) I break off, seeing a memory rise unbidden to Cassie's mind. (You kissed!) I exclaim teasingly. The sudden relief is making me giddy, and I want to laugh.

(Aftran, I need to ask the others-)

(Oh, don't begrudge me this; it's my last chance to look at a host's memories and tease them mercilessly about them. Have you kissed again? Oh yes, there we go. Oh, actually I'm not sure I want to watch any more of that. Humans really are disgusting creatures.)

(Aftran, stop it!) I feel my host's emotions change from humour to a more serious embarrassment, so I disconnect myself from her memories.

(Sorry. I promise not to tell Marco.)

(Don't you DARE.) Cassie is smiling mentally now though. (I'll never live it down. Are you going to let me go and ask them now?)

(That's probably a good idea. Should I leave you?)

Cassie thinks for a moment. (I don't think that's necessary. Just let me do the talking at first, just to say that you're in me. Then I'll let you explain.)

(Good idea. I'll explain how you are completely in love with Ja-)

(SHUT. UP.)

(Okay. I'll be serious. I promise.)

(I've never seen you quite like this,) Cassie says curiously.

(Yeerks aren't Andalites. We do have senses of humour. Especially when we've just found out we're not about to die after all.)


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: **I notice now has a new feature where pictures can be uploaded as a 'book cover' for your story. However, as my own fan art skills are non-existent and I don't want to steal anyone else's without permission, if anyone fancies drawing a book cover for this story I would definitely gratefully accept it! PM me if by any chance anyone is interested.

* * *

"I want to say thank you to you all. Thank you so much," I said. "You've saved my life."

"It's what we Animorphs do best," Marco said, with an uncomfortable grin.

"Have you chosen a morph?" Jake asked.

I hesitated for a moment, choosing my next words carefully. "Yes. But I don't know if it will be possible."

"We've acquired some pretty impossible morphs," Rachel said.

(Harder for some of us than others,) Tobias added. (I'm sure we can do it.)

"It isn't a practical problem as such," I admitted. "You see, I would like, if I can, to morph a human."

I allowed a couple of seconds for that to sink in. "Cassie has already offered me her DNA. But obviously I don't want to be a clone of her, so I was wondering if I could use some of your DNA. And, you know, do what Ax does for his human morph."

Jake nodded. "You can have mine."

"Rachel, don't volunteer," Marco said quickly. "Then we can see what their future kids will look like."

"Cassie would like me to repeat a thought for her. It is 'ha, ha'," I said sarcastically. "And also I just won a dollar. And thank you, Jake, that's very kind."

Rachel and Marco were quiet for a few minutes.

"You can have mine, too," Marco said. "Don't use too much of it, mind. The world can only cope with so much cuteness."

"I'll bear that in mind."

"You can have mine, too," Rachel said, after a few more seconds' pause.

"Don't feel you have to," I said quickly. "Only if you're sure."

"I'm sure," she replied.

"Thank you," I replied sincerely, looking between her and Marco.

"There are a few practical issues though," Jake said. "Where are you going to live, Aftran? What will you eat?"

"I… hadn't thought of that," I admitted. "The peace movement might be able to help provide me with food: it's a lot less risky than Kandrona, after all, and there are enough of them with human hosts to help. Where to stay is more of a problem."

Suddenly, Ax's thought-speak broke loudly into my head, and judging by their expressions, the heads of the rest of the Animorphs as well.

(NO, Tobias. I cannot. I have already spared a Yeerk and agreed to give her my people's technology! I will NOT agree to share my living space with a filthy parasite!)

Everybody looked between Ax and Tobias.

(Well, this is awkward,) Tobias said. (I was suggesting the scoop, privately, to Ax. I thought it might be the most secure bet.)

Jake nodded. "It probably would be. The Hork-Bajir valley's the only other option, and it's a long way to take food there. But if Ax doesn't want to do it, then I guess we need to look at other options."

(Does the Yeerk have to be human?) Ax asked.

I decided to ignore the fact that he was referring to me in the third person when I was right there. It hadn't been an easy few days for him.

"I'd prefer it. If it's possible. I could help you communicate with the peace movement, provide information. It would mean I wouldn't be completely isolated, I could still communicate easily. But it's up to you."

(If my Prince orders it, then I will have to do as he commands,) Ax said, after a long pause.

Jake sighed. "Ax, I don't want to give you an order like that. But would you be OK with it if it was only temporary? If we tried to, I don't know; build her a separate scoop as soon as we can?" He yawned.

(I do not know, Prince Jake,) Ax replied, with a sneering, disgusted glance at me.

Jake sighed, and pressed a hand to his forehead for a brief moment. I saw Ax tilt a stalk-eye towards Tobias quizzically, as though listening. It was a long time before anyone spoke. Nervous, I tried to distract myself by focusing on the soft rustling sounds of the animals in their cages and stalls, and the shining red-brown of a nearby chestnut mare's coat. I was not completely successful.

(What about the Chee?) Cassie thought suddenly.(They have that big dog park; you could stay there, at least temporarily. It would be more comfortable than the scoop, and Ax and you wouldn't end up killing each other.)

I laughed inside her head, and repeated her thought back to the rest of the group. Save for the last sentence, of course. I was wary about insulting an Andalite.

(That seems like a good idea,) Tobias said. (I'll fly over and tell them you're coming.)

Rachel held the door open for him as he sped out of the barn towards town.

"Okay," Jake said, turning back to me. "We'll let you touch Cassie, me, Marco and Rachel in that order, Aftran. Remember it, so you can concentrate on the right person when you acquire them."

"How do I perform the _Frolis _Manoeuvre, Aximili?" I asked hesitantly.

(I…) he hesitated for a moment. (It is quite simple. You need to imagine a human whose features can be made using a mix of the four humans you have acquired. You need to simply imagine that human and concentrate on that instead of on any of the individual humans you have acquired.)

"Thanks." I looked intently at Jake, Marco and Rachel, memorising their features so I would be able to construct an imagined human later.

"Ok, well that's freaky," Marco commented as I stared at him.

I didn't reply, not wanting to break my concentration. When I was finished, I turned my focus inwards to Cassie.

(Well, I guess this is it,) I said. (I'll never communicate in this way again.)

(It's good though, right?) Cassie asked anxiously.

(It's better than I ever dared to hope,) I replied. (Still, it will be strange to lose my own body permanently, pathetic though it is.) It would probably also lose me my two mates, though one of them was probably lost to me already. I did not tell Cassie this, however. I could already sense guilt from her.

(It is not your fault,) I reassured her. (And as I have said, it is far better than the alternatives. My own eyes!)

She smiled mentally. (If anyone deserves them, you do. Bye for now, Aftran.)

(Goodbye,) I replied. Then I left her ear for the last time.

I felt myself being picked up by the four humans in succession. I focused on imagining their faces, and felt their hands go looser around me as I acquired them. It was a little nerve-wracking: I was worried one of them might relax enough to drop me, but thankfully that did not happen.

They placed me on the floor, and I focused on mixing the DNA of the four humans together. I wanted a female morph: both my human and Hork-Bajir hosts had all been female, so I identified with that gender more than a male. I wanted Cassie's eyes, and combined it with Marco's hair, but hoped it would come out somewhere between Marco and Rachel's length. I wasn't sure, as hair length was hardly genetic, if this was something I could control, but if not I could always grow it. I took an equal mix of all their facial features and skin tone, so my final skin tone was just slightly paler than Marco's. Rachel and Jake were the tallest of the four, so I went for a height somewhere between the two of them, with a similar weight to Rachel. I hoped the humans remembered to look away, as a morphing outfit could only be re-morphed if you'd started off your morph wearing it, and not just morphed from nowhere. I wasn't worried, as Yeerks of course have no concept of clothing, but I didn't imagine the Animorphs would particularly enjoy seeing a mix of their own and others' DNA standing naked in a barn.

Once I had decided on the human shape I wanted to assume, I began to concentrate hard, and soon I felt the changes begin.

My Yeerk body began to swell, and carried on inflating like a balloon, only well past the point where a normal balloon would have popped. Arms and legs began to grow from buds on the side of my body, but at first felt very small compared to the rest of me. I imagined they must look rather comical. My slime coat dried up, and hardened to become skin. My Yeerk body began to change shape, elongating and thinning, and forming hips, waist, chest and neck. I felt my insides changing as much more complex organs than those in a Yeerk began to form. I tried to echo-locate, to check my enlarging body would not hit anything, but the sense was gone.

And then the eyes formed. At first, the image was dim as the nerves needed to build their way to my brain, but soon I was seeing again. Shape! Texture! Colour! The beauty was, as always, overwhelming, but even more so now I knew it was mine permanently. My eyes! My eyes and no host to ruin the feeling.

My ears, nose and mouth formed. I could soon smell the soft, earthy scent of the hay I was lying on, and hear Marco's voice. The morph was complete.

"Ew," Marco was saying. "Yuck. I never want to see that again."

The humans, I noticed, had turned away, but Ax was watching me, his tail blade angled towards where I lay on the floor.

"I'm going to stand up," I said. The words came easily, my voice thankfully sounding unique, not like any of the other Animorphs'. I had forgotten to think about my voice.

I pushed myself carefully off the floor using the strength of my human arms, and reached quickly for a horse rug, which I wrapped around my body.

"You can look now," I said. "I'm decent. Ish."

The humans turned cautiously, and Rachel grinned at the sight of me wrapped in a horse rug. "I don't think that's going to be making it into _Vogue_ any time soon," she laughed.

"There should be some clothes in- well, you know where they would be," Cassie said.

"Watch carefully, everyone," Rachel teased. "This is the one time in the world where Cassie's fashion sense will actually be an improvement."

I went and changed into the riding clothes Cassie kept in the barn's tack room. On the way back, curious, I peered into the water trough to look at my reflection. Unnecessary, of course, as I had imagined the morph myself. But I still felt it was something I had to do.

Cassie's dark eyes looked back at me, surrounded by a familiar-yet-unfamiliar face. I realised it would take me a while to adjust to the fact that this was now my own true body.

"You OK, Aftran?"

I hear Cassie's voice and snap out of my reverie. "Coming," I reply."

"She can't walk down the street like that," Rachel pointed out as soon as I reappeared. "And she has to go to the Chee."

"I'll get her some normal clothes before the two hours are up," Cassie promised.

"Since when do you own normal clothes?" Rachel teased.

"Shut up. How are you feeling, Aftran?"

"Good," I replied. "A little strange, but good. Thank you so much."

"It's the least you deserve," Cassie answered.

(I disagree. It's the most you deserve, Yeerk, and you should be grateful.)

"Ax!" Cassie exclaimed angrily.

"I am grateful, Aximili," I said quickly. "And it's OK, Cassie. Ax has been very kind to allow this at all. I'm guessing it would be contravening about five Andalite laws. Although I would prefer it if you didn't call me 'Yeerk'."

Ax was silent for a few moments. Then he asked: (May I return to my scoop now, Prince Jake?)

Jake nodded. "Sure, Ax. Actually, we're all still pretty sick. Maybe we should all go and get some rest. Cassie, make sure Aftran stays in this morph for two hours, and take her to the Chee. Marco and Rachel, go and get some rest."

The next two hours passed uneventfully, as I helped Cassie with her chores in the barn, prepared to jump into an old rug box if her parents came towards the barn. Just before my time was up, Tobias returned to confirm that the Chee were prepared to take me. Ten minutes later, my decision became irreversible.

"I'll go up to the house and get you some other clothes," Cassie said.

It took a long time to get to the Chee, as I of course could not fly. We had to take a couple of different buses, and walk for a while either end of that. As we were walking the final stretch, I said:

"Can you make sure Illim knows that I'm alive? As soon as you can at school tomorrow? And can you ask him to come to the Chee house as soon as he can?"

"I- I don't know if the Chee will want too many people to know about them."

"It won't be many. Just Illim," I promised. "Then we can work out a way for me to meet with the rest of the peace movement. We generally use our host's homes if we have to meet hosted or outside the Yeerk pool. I'm sure we can work something out."

Cassie nodded. "I'll definitely tell him you're alive. I'll check with the Chee when we get there if I can tell him to come here."

We had reached the door to Erek King's house, and it opened before Cassie could knock. Erek stood in the doorway.

"Come in," he said.

Once the door was shut, he turned to smile at me. Or at least, his hologram did. I didn't return the grin. I was too busy staring at his forehead. I knew what rested inside his android skull, and what he had done sickened me. It was even worse to finally stand face-to-face with him and do nothing. There was nothing I could do, though, and I needed somewhere to stay. I would almost rather have stayed with the Andalite.

"Hello, Aftran," he said. "Follow me."

He took me through to the Chee's underground base, where I saw a meal was waiting for me beneath one of the trees. A few dogs sat around hopefully, too well-trained to touch the food.

"Welcome, Aftran Nine-Four-Two," said a Chee I did not know, with a hologram of a middle-aged lady. "We hope you will be comfortable here."

"I'd better go," Cassie said. "I'll tell Illim. Erek, is it okay if one member of the peace movement comes here, as long as he doesn't tell any of the others?"

Erek nodded. "I suppose so. The six of you are already a security risk; two more beings won't make much of a difference."

Cassie nodded, and turned to me. "I guess this is goodbye for now," she said. "Are you going to be okay?"

I nodded. "I think so. I'll have to be."


	3. Chapter 3

I slept uneasily that night. It was strange to need so much deep sleep. Yeerks naturally sleep very lightly, and most will only dream for a few minutes every few nights. That time of deep sleep is one of the most dangerous times for any Yeerk in an involuntary host, as they must release most of their hold on the host brain to do it. So it mostly happens when the host brain is also asleep. I heard from Yeerks in voluntary hosts that one of the great luxuries was to be able to sleep deeply and dream every night, some of them for more than half an hour. I'd managed fifteen minutes or so in my first host, a very compliant Gedd, but never had more than five minutes at a time after that until I left Karen for the pool. Sleeping for eight hours was therefore very alien, and I spent much of the night petting a rather adorable King Charles spaniel puppy. He reminded me a lot of Karen's dog; a female King Charles named Dolly.

Food at the Chee household was very good for a race of androids that didn't actually need to eat. Entertainment was less easy to come by, once you had exhausted every trick and game the dogs knew. I was nervous about speaking more than a few words to the Chee, and I think they must have sensed this, as they kept their distance. Perhaps they felt the same way. I knew they had a TV in the main house, but for now I remained content in the dog park, not wanting to have to make awkward conversation with any of the Chee that posed as hosts by means of a Yeerk imprisoned forever in a cage in their skull. I wondered if any were Yeerks I had met.

At around seven pm, a Chee approached me. "You have a visitor in the main house," she told me. "Follow me."

Illim! It had to be. I leapt to my feet eagerly, hurrying along behind her as she led me out of the dog park and into the main living room. Mr King was there, sitting next to Illim, as I had predicted. The latter jumped up at the sight of me, and crossed the room in what seemed a single stride.

"Aftran?" he whispered disbelievingly.

I nodded. "Yes. It's me."

Before I registered what had happened, he grabbed my waist and pulled me to him in a tight hug. A few tears escaped my eyes, and I rested my head on his shoulder almost instinctively.

"You're alive," he murmured. "By the Kandrona, you're alive. I thought I'd lost you."

"I know. I'm so glad to see you." I realised a little late that we weren't in our Yeerk bodies, and that Illim still had a host, and abruptly pulled away.

"I'm sorry, Adam," I said quickly.

Illim laughed. "He says it's fine. He says hugging in private is OK. He says, and I quote: 'hugging in public's not, because I might lose my job, and kissing anywhere is not, because I might lose my lunch.'."

I laughed. "That's a nice image."

"Well, you can't say he's been unclear."

We sat down, and Illim reached for my hand.

"So," he said, after we had sat in silence for a few moments, "where does this leave us?"

"Us being…"

"Well, I meant the peace movement, really, and your role in it. I think Adam's already clarified exactly where it leaves you and me."

"I'd hoped to liaise between the Animorphs and the peace movement. We could coordinate together more easily. As an unrecognised human with no ties to the Yeerk pool and no identity to discover, I could move backwards and forwards between the two easily, without really raising any suspicion."

Illim nodded. "Good idea. We can help provide food for you, I'm sure."

"How is everyone? Visser Three hasn't shown any signs of discovering anyone else's identity, has he? After all, there are a lot of members who are my friends or family, not to mention you, it wouldn't be hard for him to-"

At that Illim laughed. Hard.

"I don't see what's so funny."

When he could recover his breath, he said: "I'm sorry. I just don't think we need to worry about that: Visser Three's going to be a bit distracted for a while."

"Why?"

"Well, current gossip around the Pool is that the council finally issued the _gashad_ on Visser One that he's been pressing for for ages now. He'll be sending people all over the galaxy to try and find her."

"Too distracted by a fake traitor to look for the real ones?"

"Something like that."

I laughed. "The Vissers really are useless, aren't they?"

"Oh yes. Visser Three in particular. But it's great news for us."

"Not such great news for Marco, though. His mother is Visser One's host."

Illim was silent for a few seconds as he absorbed that information. "You've never mentioned that before."

"I always said I hadn't told you everything," I said, a little defensive.

"I know," he said quickly. "And I understand. It wasn't a criticism. Will you tell Marco?"

"I don't think he even knows for sure if she's alive," I mused. "What can I say? 'Yes, Marco, your mother's alive, but Visser Three has a warrant for any Yeerk to kill her on sight, so don't get your hopes up?'"

"He'll probably try to capture her."

"Which may well be even worse." I pressed my forehead into my hand. "I don't know what to do."

Illim released my hand, and wrapped an arm around my shoulders instead. "Are you asking me for my advice?"

I shrugged. "Maybe. Do you have any?"

"I think what you ultimately do is your decision. But I would point out: you have time. Visser One is anything but stupid: I think it will take Visser Three quite a bit of time to catch her, and if he does it'll probably be while she's trying to take him down. It's bound to take her a while to plan how she's going to do that. I think you're safe for a while. And Marco's still recovering from an illness."

I nodded. "It's probably not the best time. Should I tell him, eventually?"

"It's up to you. I think your judgement is better than mine."

"Oh, no, don't say that! You know I'm terrible at making decisions."

"Apart from the one to rebel against the Yeerk Empire and let your host go free. You took that pretty quickly."

"I think if I'd taken time to think about that, I'd never have done it. I've never taken any other decisions quickly though."

Illim laughed. "I know. The three months of deciding whether to apply for a human host or stay as a Hork-Bajir were enough to show me that. Despite the fact that you hated physical combat."

I shuddered. "Don't remind me."

"I'm not going to take the decision for you, Aftran. I think the truth is always better in the end, however hard the truth is to face."

I nodded. "You're probably right."

We sat in silence for a few moments, my head nuzzling into his shoulder.

"I told Innis yesterday," he said eventually. "That you're alive."

"Do you think that's safe?"

"He kept the secret of the movement for you. It's less treasonous to keep this."

"You're right. Thank you for telling him." I sighed. "I'm never going to see him again, am I?"

Illim tightened his arm around me. "You don't know that."

"If I'm to liaise between the Animorphs and the peace movement, we'll need to arrange a hosted meeting," I said, to distract myself.

Illim nodded. "Yes. I was thinking maybe next Wednesday evening? Seven pm? We could use Miran's host's house: I've already discussed it with her. She wasn't scheduled to feed the day you escaped, so it's probably less risky to use hers for the first meeting after that."

I nodded. "That sounds sensible."

Illim wrote the address down for me, and described the buses I would need to take to get there. "Here," he said, pulling a ten-dollar note from his wallet. "There should be plenty there for the journey and anything else you need between now and then. My number's on the paper too: the Chee have a phone, you can call if you need anything." He hugged me again. "I have to go. I love you, Aftran."

"I love you too."


	4. Chapter 4

Cassie visited me after school the next day. "How are you doing?" she asked concernedly.

"I'm fine. I'm getting worryingly good at throwing sticks."

She smiled. "That's good. Erek says you've been very quiet."

"You don't need to get other people to spy on me," I said jokingly, but with a sincere point to make.

"I'm not. Erek was a little worried about how you're adjusting."

"I'm fine," I repeated. "Obviously it's strange, but that's not the reason I'm quiet with the Chee. You don't need to worry about me."

Cassie frowned at me and stayed silent. I recognised the signs. She was giving me space to talk, hoping I'd expand on what I'd said. Cassie is very good at expectant silences, and you feel a need to fill them. I'm used to rather a more direct way of finding out what's on someone's mind, but this is effective in its own way.

"Oh, alright," I said eventually. "Don't tell the Chee what I'm about to say, but every time I look at Erek, I can't help but think about the Yeerk trapped inside his head. It's easier if I limit what I say to him. I don't know how many other Chee this applies to, so I'm fairly quiet with them as well. But I _am_ fine. Satisfied?"

Cassie looked at the floor.

"You don't need to look so guilty. It's not your fault."

"I didn't think about how that would make you feel," she admitted. "I didn't even remember, really."

"It's fine."

Thankfully, she left the subject there. "Did Illim see you yesterday?"

"Yes," I replied. "Thank you for telling him. It allowed us to organise a peace movement meeting that I can attend next week. Hopefully, we'll be able to work more effectively with you and the others."

"That would be good. We wasted a lot of time recently trying to stop a plan of Visser Three's that was never going to work anyway."

It took me a moment to remember what she means. "Ah, the hamburger thing. I remember now from your memories. We don't have any members who were actually working in it, so we wouldn't have known it was a failure. I remember it being discussed in the Pool, though. Quite a lot of Yeerks were of the opinion it could never work. Many didn't want it to anyway."

"Didn't want it to?"

"Many Yeerks, mainly those with voluntary hosts, enjoy the interaction they have with their hosts," I explained. "They wouldn't want to be in an automaton. Anyway, there seems something wrong with removing even someone's freedom to think you're a total jerk."

"Good job it didn't work, then," Cassie said.

"Quite." I lifted up a drool-covered stick that had been dropped beside me by a chocolate-coloured Labrador puppy, and threw it through the canopy of a tree to the other side. The dog bounded after it, ears bouncing with the rhythm of her steps.

"This meeting," Cassie began, following the dog's progress back to me with her eyes. "Should- can I come with you?"

I shook my head. "That's not a good idea. Most of the peace movement haven't been told you aren't Andalites, although the fact that I've been given the morphing power might lead them to suspect as much. Why do you want to come?"

Cassie shrugged. "Just curiosity." She lifted the stick this time, and threw it in the opposite direction.

I smiled. "I'll make sure to tell you every detail."

A few days later, I took Illim's piece of paper and money and headed out to the bus stop. It took me around three-quarters of an hour to reach the location of the meeting: the home of a twenty-five year old solicitor named Lisa, who was the host to my close friend Miran. I'd left plenty of time, so I was a little early.

Lisa lived in a nice neighbourhood close to the centre of town. Her house was small, as she lived alone, but very well-kept. I walked up the paved path to the front door, looking around me with interest, as it had never been consistent with my cover to visit as Karen. Small flowers grew in beds on either side of the path: I was sure there was every colour of the rainbow there. Beyond the flowers there was lawn on either side to the boundary of the garden. The front door was painted a neat light blue.

I rang the doorbell, and almost immediately heard footsteps behind the door. It swung open to reveal Miran and Illim.

Illim smiled at me. "Come in."

Once the door was shut, Miran said: "Aftran?"

I nodded. "It's me."

"I'm so glad you're OK!"

"Well, I'm pretty glad too," I responded jokingly, earning a chuckle from her.

Illim hugged me. "Innis wanted me to tell you he loves you," he said softly. "And so do I."

"What?" Miran said suddenly, an edge to her voice. "What do you mean?"

"I'm just passing on a message from Innis."

"A message he is presumably sending to what he thinks is a dead Yeerk he has no idea you have contact with. Because I hope, Illim, you haven't told him without checking with the rest of us. It's a pretty big security risk."

"He kept the secret of the movement," I said defensively. "I didn't know Illim had told him, but I'm glad he did. I wouldn't have wanted Innis to think…"

"Oh, Aftran, I wasn't suggesting we shouldn't tell him at all," Miran said, much more gently. "I just think it's important we follow procedure with this sort of thing, and tell each other if we plan to reveal any information, at all, to anyone. It will just avoid problems later. Anyway, let's forget it for now and head into the living room."

"I only told him Monday afternoon. It was right after I learned myself and I didn't have chance to consult anyone else: I couldn't make him wait until after our meeting today!"

Miran, who had started to turn to lead us further into the house, stopped dead.

"You weren't at the Pool Monday afternoon."

Illim frowned. "No. I told him at the store. I happened to run into him."

Miran slowly turned to face him. She looked livid. "You, Illim 781, are a complete and utter fool." She looked towards me, and clearly saw my confusion. "Don't tell me you haven't figured it out either, Aftran."

I shook my head. "I'm sure Illim was careful to make sure no-one overheard."

"Really? You made sure absolutely no-one overheard? I'd be very interested to learn how you did _that._ Because I'm assuming you didn't fill a tank with water and both go in there to talk, leaving Adam to restrain Elsa in the middle of the frozen food section. What you're really telling me is that you told Innis _and Elsa_, which is a completely stupid thing to do."

Illim laughed. That was probably a bad move, but I didn't get chance to stop him before he spoke. "Elsa's not going to tell anyone! Elsa, one of the most infamously resistant involuntaries? She's not going to tell the Visser!"

"Oh sweet holy Kandrona, Illim! You still don't see it." She looked to me again. "And even worse, neither do you! No, Elsa's not going to merrily call the Visser over while she's sat in a cage and rat you out. However, being a highly resistant host, Elsa has had three Yeerk changes in the past six months. I highly doubt she will last to the end of the war without another one. And do you really think she is going to be able to keep that information from the next Yeerk to infest her?"

Simultaneously, Illim and I went: "Oh." Illim added a rather terrified: "Bugger."

"I didn't realise," I said rather weakly.

"God, let's sit down," Miran said, leading us quickly through to the living room. She sighed as she collapsed into the cream sofa. "So, let's summarise the situation. Elsa now knows that Aftran, one of the main leaders of the peace movement, is alive. She knows that you, Illim, are a member of the peace movement, and that you have contact with Aftran. Someone needs only follow you for a while and you will eventually lead them straight to Aftran, who is trapped as a human. And if Visser Three uses more than one brain cell, which I admit is unlikely but possible, they could infest Aftran and find out everything else they need to know. All this leads us to three conclusions. Firstly, you need to speak to Innis and tell him to forewarn you if he is about to change hosts. We'll then have chance to get you and Aftran somewhere safe. Secondly, we need to limit your association with other peace movement members so they don't fall under suspicion if you're found out."

"We do that anyway," I pointed out. "But we can be extra careful in Illim's case. What's the third conclusion?"

"The third conclusion is that Illim is a complete and utter cretin and needs to run everything past me in future."

Illim nodded, looking chastened. "Fair enough. Should I tell Innis in his host or out of her?"

Miran put her head in her hands. "Out of her, of course! That's how this whole problem started!"

I frowned. "Are you sure? No, please, listen: what if Elsa's worked out the same thing we have? It would be cruel to make her fear that they'd capture Illim instantly if she were to change Yeerk, when she would surely feel much better if she knew this?"

Illim nodded. "You're right. She might even be able to help prevent the Yeerk change somehow."

Miran nodded. "OK. I didn't think of that. What do you think about telling him in the Pool, and tell him that he can inform his host if she does realise. It would mean they'd know we were onto them as soon as she was infested, but they'd realise that pretty soon anyway."

I nodded. "Good idea. Can I add to your list, Miran?"

"List?"

"Your three conclusions. Four: Aftran is also a cretin and should also run her decisions past Miran before taking action. I didn't even think of a Yeerk change for a second. And Illim mentioned it to me Monday night, and I should have realised he wouldn't have been at the Pool then."

Miran sighed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so rude to you or Illim, but _honestly._ Hopefully the damage should be fairly limited, though, if we can get Innis to inform us in advance." She smiled at us. "Anyway, let's put it behind us and focus on the meeting. Can I get either of you anything to drink?"

"Coffee would be great, thanks," Illim said.

"Aftran?"

"I'll try some, too," I replied. I followed Miran and Lisa through into the kitchen.

Miran pulled three blue mugs with white spots on out of a cupboard and filled her coffee-maker with water. "I never asked you how you're doing," she said as she headed over to the fridge for milk. "Does it feel strange?"

I nodded. "A little. Mostly I'm just glad I'm not dead."

She nodded. The coffee started to bubble through into the jug beneath the coffee-maker. "I guess that puts things in perspective." She stared at me for a second. "It must be nice and quiet in there." She gestured to my head, grinning.

"Unnervingly so." I decided to change the subject. I still wasn't too sure exactly how I was going to feel about my new body once the initial relief wore off, and I didn't want Miran to ask too many questions. "Will there be many people here tonight?"

Miran poured coffee into the three mugs. "Only the inner group. I didn't think it was a great idea for too many people to see what you looked like in your new human body. Do you take sugar?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "I've never had coffee before. Karen was a bit young."

Miran raised an eyebrow. "In that case, _probably_ sugar but I'll let you try it on its own first. Here you go." She passed me my mug and lifted Illim's and her own to take back through to the living room. "Yes, we should only have twelve others here, the most trusted members. I figured they could feed back to the rest of the peace movement in the Pool, or wherever we see them." Miran set a mug down in front of Illim and took a seat on a small armchair, tucking her legs up underneath her.

Just as she was getting comfortable, the doorbell rang. "Ah, that should be Milhar," she said, getting up.

The twelve other Yeerks arrived gradually, staggered at intervals of varying length and arriving at different entrances and from different directions. Once they were all seated with drinks, Miran cleared her throat.

"I called this meeting," she began, "so I will be mostly leading it, but you will also hear a lot from Illim 781, and Aftran 942." She indicated me with one hand. "Which brings us to our first item of business. As you know by now, Aftran has been given the morphing power by the Andalite bandits as a means of keeping her alive. She has chosen this human form and stayed in it for more than two hours, which as you should know from training, means she is permanently stuck in this form. She will be acting as liaison between ourselves and the Andalite bandits, to allow us to better coordinate our efforts. She has combined DNA from a number of humans so she resembles no one individual in particular. Any questions?"

There were none, so Miran continued. "Does anyone have any new recruitments to report? Shakli 448, I believe you were planning to speak to somebody this cycle. Were you successful?"

A human female, around thirty years old, nodded. "Yes. I know Millis 564 from our early days in Hork-Bajir hosts. She's now responsible for overseeing the training of new Pool guards. We've continued to speak when we feed, and she's shown a lot of distress at the number of involuntary hosts and the kind of things that involuntaries do and say during re-infestation, particularly the human ones. I spoke to her in the Pool this week, and she is willing to join our cause. She works closely with the overall head of host management on Earth, sub-Visser 150."

"She sounds very useful," I said.

"Indeed. Although a large number of our recruits are Yeerks who have worked or currently work in some aspect of host management," Miran said. "It makes sense, I suppose, and it's extremely useful to expand our network in that area, as we seem to have a natural appeal. However, we need to try and gain as much breadth in our membership as possible. Thank you, Shakli. Are there any other potential new members to report?"

A few other suggestions were made, and their backgrounds and behaviour discussed. Miran, Illim and I gave the go-ahead to try and recruit two of the suggested Yeerks by the next meeting. One was a Hork-Bajir Controller in Visser Three's personal guard, which pleased Miran.

"Right, we'll move on to our third item for today," Miran said, once these had been discussed. "Most of you will be aware that the council recently issued a _gashad_ against Visser One, at the request of Visser Three. You will probably not be aware that this actually happened several weeks ago: Visser Three has done quite a good job of guarding this information, but it has filtered down to lower-ranking Yeerks eventually. However, I have been informed that today he has announced it officially and also stated that Visser One is thought to be either on Earth, or close to the planet with the intention of landing on Earth in the next few days. This is of course fortunate timing for us, as it will distract Visser Three from looking for the peace movement. However, Illim would like to say a few words to urge continued caution."

"Thank you, Miran," Illim said. "Yes, Visser One is thought to be on Earth. This begs the question of why, when it brings her so close to Visser Three, and her life is on the line. My bet, and I would be willing to put quite a lot of money on this, is that she is seeking to discredit Visser Three somehow. The fact that a rebel movement has started under his nose would seem as good a place to start as any, so it is possible Visser One may be trying to find out about the movement. Therefore I urge caution to all of you, even if you think Visser Three is distracted. Make sure any conversations between yourself and other members look natural, particularly when hosted. We don't want to give either of the Vissers or their spies anything to work with. Please spread this information to other members as widely as you can. The good news, of course, is that Visser Three is very unlikely to tell Visser One that he tried to interrogate Aftran here and she got away, so Visser One will probably be working without that particular lead."

The meeting concluded fairly quickly after that, with no Yeerk needing to raise any other business. At the close of the meeting, Miran pointedly reminded everyone to stick to protocol and wait for the all-clear from herself, Illim or I before passing on any information to anyone inside or outside the movement. In particular, while the other members of the movement could know I was alive, they should not know how, that I was a human now, or what I was doing. Anyone outside the movement should be allowed to assume I was dead unless explicit permission had been given to say otherwise. She didn't do anything as unprofessional as glance at Illim or me, but it was clear what had made her close the meeting in that way.

"Shakli?" Miran called, as she was about to leave. "Can you wait behind a second, please?"

"You say Millis works closely with sub-Visser 150?" Miran asked, once she had sat down.

She nodded.

"Would she have any advance warning of Yeerk changes to different hosts? Is that something you think they discuss?"

Shakli shrugged her host's slim shoulders. "I don't know for sure, but it's definitely possible. Would you like me to ask her?"

Miran nodded. "Yes. There's been a potential security leak: nothing major, and perfectly possible to contain. Can you tell her to inform you of any impending Yeerk changes for Elsa Davies? Should she tell you of any, you will need to inform me immediately."

Shakli nodded. "Of course."

"Thank you. You can go now. May the Kandrona sustain you until our next meeting."

"And you, Miran 593," Shakli replied formally.

I took the bus back to the Chee house. Illim half-offered to drive me, then stopped when he saw the look on Miran's face. To be honest, I was glad of the time to think. Despite Illim's advice to give it some time, I felt I could no longer keep it from Marco that his mother might be back on Earth. It would be too late to call Cassie when I got back, but I resolved to speak to Erek King in the morning before he went to school, and get him to call an Animorphs' meeting at the barn the next day. If there was one thing I was certain of, it was that Marco had to be told in person.


	5. Chapter 5

In the end, it turned out Marco called a meeting the next day as well. It took me over an hour to get there by the time I'd caught all the different buses, and walked to and from each bus stop. I was therefore the last to arrive.

Marco was pacing anxiously, very different to his usual relaxed self. Cassie watched him worriedly while administering a wormer to her mother's chestnut mare. Ax was there, too, and turned away as I came in, as though determined not to notice me.

Jake spoke as I went across to help Cassie put the mare away. "Right. Apparently Aftran and Marco have both called this meeting. Marco? Do you want to go first?"

"This morning I skipped school and went downtown," Marco began. "Yeah, yeah I know it's dumb to call attention to myself. The important thing is, I saw my…. Visser One. She was in disguise. But it was her."

"Oh, man," Jake said. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I got a great look at her right before I was going to trip her."

"You were going to trip your mother?" Cassie asked.

"Yeah, because she'd knocked me down with this big metal briefcase. It doesn't matter."

"Are you sure she didn't recognise you and knock you down on purpose?" Rachel asked.

"I don't think so. At the underwater base, she saw me, remember? She thinks I'm a Controller. So why would she smack me, unprovoked? If she knew the truth, she'd have done more than just knock me down."

The Animorphs discussed Marco skipping school for a while. I noticed he was cracking a particularly large number of jokes today: a response to stress, I guessed.

(So. Visser One is alive. That is not good news,) Ax said.

"My mother's alive, too," Marco countered. "I followed her into the Sutherland Tower. She's got an office on the twenty-second floor."

"What do you think she's doing in there?" Cassie wondered.

"I can take a good guess," I responded. "We had a peace movement meeting last night. One of the items we discussed was that Visser One was suspected to be on, or near Earth. I'm sorry to say this, Marco, but I have to tell you that Visser One has what we call a _gashad_ on her head. A warrant to kill her on sight, if she can't be captured. Visser Three has had the council of thirteen issue one. He must have given them reason to suspect her as a traitor."

"That'll have been us," Jake said. "The last time we saw Visser One, Visser Three saw us spare her life."

I nodded. "That would explain it. Earth's obviously dangerous for her, so I'm guessing she's here looking for information she can't find anywhere else, in order to discredit Visser Three. We're concerned it might be the peace movement she's looking for."

"This could be bad news for us," Cassie said.

"Not necessarily," Jake said. "Warring Vissers are a lot easier to handle than Vissers united against us."

"And a brilliant distraction from the real traitors," I added, indicating myself. "Unless it is the peace movement she's looking for."

We may be able to use the feud between the Vissers to our advantage.

"First step," Jake agreed, "find out what's in that office."

I breathed a sigh of relief. If Visser One was looking for us, at least we'd know in advance. "Can I ask that you tell me if she's looking for us, and how much information she has, if you can find that out?"

"Sure," Jake said.

For a few minutes, the Animorphs discussed the practicalities of gaining access to the office, and decided that Tobias, Marco and Ax would go that night. They tried to give Marco a way out, but he was determined to come.

There is the problem of Visser One inhabiting your mother's body, Ax said bluntly. And the temptations that seeing her again might arouse.

"Ax is right, Marco," Cassie said gently. "Coming face-to-face with Visser One again will be hard for you. And dangerous for all of us."

"Marco hasn't given himself away before," I pointed out.

"Thanks, Aftran," he said, sounding surprised.

"It might be different this time, though," I added. "That big metal briefcase you describe sounds like it could be a portable Kandrona. If that's true, then she must have soundproofed the room and she must have a pool with a mind-interface neck lock on it. It's unlikely, but it's possible you could come across your mother while Visser One is feeding. You won't be able to free her."

"I can't break the lock?" Marco asked hopefully.

"No. The lock will be synchronised to Visser One's mental commands and hers alone. It won't release until she is back in her host body, but it will warn her of any attempts to break it. These Pools are difficult to produce and therefore very rare, and they only work if you have a private space you can soundproof, as they don't control the host's voice. But I can imagine Visser One would be able to get hold of one."

Marco sat down suddenly.

"It's up to you whether you still want to go," I said. "But you have to be prepared for that. And you have to understand you might not be able to free her."

In the end, Marco went. I waited nervously at the Chee house for news, wondering if Visser One really was looking for us, and if so how much information she could have managed to collect. It was a long wait and went well into the night, but I could not sleep. Eventually, I went into the main house to wait, figuring I would then be nearer the door when one of the Animorphs arrived to report back. I turned on the TV and flicked listlessly through the channels, eventually settling on the news. There'd been a murder, a few blocks away. I wondered briefly if it was connected to Visser Three, but then he never left bodies, and the person had been stabbed. Probably not a Controller: almost certainly nothing to do with the Yeerks. There was fighting in the Middle East. There were no Yeerk bases there yet, so that couldn't be anything to do with us either. There was a scandal: some politician had cheated on his wife. I saw press crowding him, trying to interview everyone connected with the case. Wasn't it supposed to be private? I turned the TV off again. There was no comfort there. Briefly, I wondered if I'd chosen the right _nothlit_ form.

Eventually, Tobias arrived. I opened the window to let him in.

"You'd better have good news," I said.

(Good and bad,) he replied. (The good news is she isn't after the peace movement. The bad news is that she is after the free Hork-Bajir.)

"Oh," I replied.

(And the worst thing is, Marco basically agreed to turn them in!)

I frowned. "Why would he do that?"

(Well, he said we won't give up the free Hork-Bajir, but he's told Visser One we will. And he agreed that we would be there with her once we've led her to the colony, to 'help her eliminate' them. He has a plan that he thinks will take down both Vissers, One and Three. And it involves making a deal, or seeming to make a deal, with Visser One, which he's now done.)

"Will his plan work?" I asked. "I mean, do you think it will work?"

(I don't know. All I know about it is that he went to Cassie for a recommendation for a morph to use in the mountains. Then we went to the Gardens and each acquired mountain goats. He's telling me nothing.)

"Mountain goats?" I wondered aloud.

(Yes. I don't understand it. Anyway, at least it isn't the peace movement she's after.)

"Can you keep me updated? We may be able to help."

(Sure. Goodnight.)

I watched Tobias fly away, although he disappeared very quickly into the night. I was worried. Marco was a good tactician, that had always been clear, and he could normally detach logic and strategy from his emotions. But this was his mother, and if the Animorphs had to enter into conflict with her, they may have to kill the host or be killed themselves. I wondered if he understood what he was letting himself in for.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author Note: **Just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who is reading along with this story so far :) It's great to see views from such a massive range of countries! And an extra big thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, particularly **Anifan1** who I believe has reviewed every chapter.

Enjoy!

* * *

The next morning, I attended a second Animorph meeting at the barn.

"We take out Visser One. We take out Visser Three," Marco was explaining. "We leave the Yeerks believing they've erased the free Hork-Bajir colony. The free Hork-Bajir end up much safer; the Yeerks end up leaderless."

"Not quite leaderless," I point out. "There _are_ other Vissers. However, it would take time for the Council to rearrange things to reassign another Visser to Earth, and it would be destabilising: with two Vissers gone, including Visser One, there will be a lot of power plays going on. It's worth doing, if you're sure you can do it. I'm just not sure it will have quite the impact you're imagining. Although no other Visser is as dangerous as Visser Three in combat; and to my knowledge, no other Visser has Visser One's knowledge of humans."

Marco avoided my and Cassie's gaze, instead glancing at Jake and Ax.

"Of course we can do it. The plan's solid."

"Have you thought about all the consequences?" I asked gently.

"Yes," he said defiantly. "But there are a lot of unforeseen things that could go wrong."

"Marco," Cassie began, reaching for his arm.

I knew Cassie would bring it up, even if none of the rest of us dared to confront what the humans refer to as 'the elephant in the room'.

"You know we'll do anything we can to help your mother, right?"

Marco shrugged, trying to look detached. He did a good job of it, really, but I could see it was eating him up inside. It reinforced my conviction that I was doing the right thing. "She's just one person. We're supposed to be saving the world, right?"

Jake nodded. "Okay."

"This action won't save the world, though, Marco," I point out. "It might help. It will help a lot. But it won't save the world by itself."

Marco shrugged again, more aggressively this time. "So what? We can't let opportunities slip past us. We have to take every one we can. Eventually, they'll add up. And this is a pretty big one."

I nodded, seeing it was useless to argue further. Marco seemed set on it, but I wondered if he would be able to follow it through. Humans seemed to specialise in changing their mind about something as it drew closer, however determined they were to begin with.

"So we do it?" Marco asked, looking at Jake.

"Yeah," Jake replied. "You call the plays, Marco."

Now he had convinced us, Marco's composure cracked a little. "Okay. Okay. Okay, we want to push the timing. Don't give Visser One time to think about it. Keep her off-balance. I know the place. I hiked there once with my dad. Aftran, can you contact Erek for me? Get him to come up to the mountains." He proceeded to give me a set of directions. "He needs to project a hologram of the valley from a high peak."

"Okay." I agreed, but I was watching Cassie. I could see she wasn't going to let this slide. She was twisting her hands together, a sure sign that she's uncomfortable with something, and I could see her face twitching. I could tell she was about to explode, to shout, to protest at what Marco was doing to himself, to say the things no-one else would.

I sidled towards her. Vaguely, I heard Marco continue, something about acting as Andalites. "Don't," I murmured into my old host's ear. "They won't listen to you."

She turned her head towards me, making eye contact. "I have to," she mouthed.

I shook my head. "Don't," I repeated. "They know. They all understand. And they're going to do it anyway."

"Someone has to stop them," she whispered.

"You can't, you have to accept that."

I saw her still. The moment had passed, and the fight had gone out of her, for now. She would probably speak to Marco later, but she didn't protest to the others. I felt a little sickened inside. She was right, this could never be good for Marco's well-being, but I didn't feel much good could be done by speaking out.

Marco led Visser One to a trail running into the mountains, and made her climb to a high peak, pursued by Visser Three. He used Erek's holographic technology to generate an image of the free Hork-Bajir valley, which Visser One's loyal ship then attempted to destroy. A battle between Visser One and Three's forces apparently culminated with Visser One falling from the steep mountainside. There were three possibilities: either Visser One had been rescued by her own forces and gone back into hiding; she had been found by Visser Three's forces and brought into imprisonment; or she was dead.

No-one knew which one it was. None of the Animorphs saw Marco for days: he was off school, holed up in his bedroom. I think Rachel went to see him. A few days later, I met again with the inner circle of the peace movement. I hoped desperately for news as I travelled to the chosen location: Shakli's house, this time, a small apartment in a large, run-down public housing block. Shakli's host Maria's two children were at an after-school club, and no-one else lived there, so we were safe from discovery, but the small living room was very crowded with the fifteen Controllers that were present perched on every available surface. I sat cross-legged on the floor next to the children's toy box. Shakli handed out coffee and cupcakes.

"I didn't have cake," Miran said teasingly. "You're outdoing me, Shakli."

Shakli smiled. "They were Maria's idea," she said.

"Well, thank you, Maria," I said. "They're delicious."

"You're welcome."

I couldn't tell if it was Shakli speaking or Maria. Probably Maria: if Shakli had been repeating her host's thoughts, she'd probably have said so. I had not detected any change over of control in her face, though. If she had been speaking, the smooth transition suggested changes of control were common. It was nice to see.

"Is there any news of Visser One?" I asked, once Shakli had called the meeting to order.

One by one, the other Yeerks in the group shook their heads. They'd all been told to find out anything they could about her whereabouts, but everyone had come up short. I couldn't tell them the real reason I was so anxious to know the answer. With the exception of Miran and Illim, the rest of the peace movement were under the impression that the Animorphs were Andalites. Only this inner group, and a few others who had had to be informed, officially knew that the peace movement had any contact with them, although after my rescue most had probably figured out that we must have done. I wondered vaguely if any suspected they were human. Andalites alone would be unlikely to put so much effort into saving a Yeerk, after all.

"Has there been any success in recruitment since last week?" Illim asked. "Allim 325, I believe you were going to speak to a Hork-Bajir Controller who works aboard Visser Three's blade ship. Have you had any success?"

Allim's host was a tall middle-aged male. "Yes. The Yeerk in question is my brother. He was very angry about the events at the mountains this weekend: there was a small but significant loss of Yeerk life and he felt it was hardly in keeping with the secrecy of the invasion. Visser Three's been annoying him for a long time, but I think this was the last straw, and it certainly made my recruitment job a lot easier. But I'm afraid even he can't be sure if Visser One was recaptured. He suspects not, though. Visser Three doesn't look satisfied with himself enough for that, he says. I'll keep you updated."

Illim nodded. "Thank you, Allim."

We discussed the remaining two recruitments that had occurred last week, and the possibility of a spike in recruitment with all the politics and power plays going on at the moment with the two Vissers. The remainder of the meeting was fairly routine: discussing upcoming recruitments and sharing news; and it was therefore a relatively short time before Illim dismissed the rest of the group. The actual exit took a long time, though: there were no multiple ways out of the building and the sheer number of flats made it easy to be seen, so the intervals had to be longer than at Miran's house the week before. Finally, after nearly an hour, only Miran, Illim, Shakli and I remained.

Miran hesitated for a second, then spoke. "Shakli, Maria, you may remember last week I mentioned a security breach concerning the human Elsa," she said. "We need to discuss this. Sorry for encroaching further on your time." She turned to Illim, then, with no further attention to Shakli. "Well?"

"I spoke to Innis," Illim said. "He will inform us of any Yeerk changes as soon as he knows of them. But Elsa herself had figured out the danger, as we suspected she might, and he told me she has… not a solution, exactly, but something that may help."

Miran raised an eyebrow. "Go on."

"Well, as we all know she's been a highly resistant host for a long time, and she's been through a lot of Yeerks. She believes, and she may well be right, that sub-Visser 150 is hoping eventually she will hit on a Yeerk that Elsa gets on slightly better with, and behaves slightly better for. She says Innis is okay, as Yeerks go. She reckons that if she behaves slightly better than normal in the cages, makes slightly fewer escape attempts and so on, sub-Visser 150 might be motivated to keep her with Innis if at all possible. So that's what she plans to do."

"Wow," Miran said. "I would never have thought of that."

"May I interject?" Shakli asked. "I used to be a Pool guard, and Elsa is right, that is exactly what sub-Visser 150 is trying to do. She keeps close tabs on Elsa's behaviour in the cages and she's cycling through Yeerks where she can to try and work out the kind of personality she meshes best with. I'm impressed she's figured it out, though."

"Can we ask that of her, though?" I asked. "If she wants to fight, can we take that away from her?"

"I don't think she'd just stop fighting," Illim said. "Just fight slightly less. I think if she became completely passive, every Pool guard would wonder what had happened."

"Even so," I said. "That hour or so every three days is the only freedom she has. Can we really ask her to do something she doesn't want to?"

"Aftran, it isn't like that," Shakli said. "She's doing it because she wants to, because she doesn't want the peace movement to be found out. She's exercising that freedom in a way that is far more meaningful and far more likely to finally free her than grabbing on to every object on the way down the pier to make it difficult to move her, or singing 'I know a song that'll get on your nerves" continuously for an hour. She suggested it, after all."

I nodded hesitantly, still a little uncomfortable. "I suppose you're right."

"Personally, I'd be far more concerned about the fact that you're dooming Innis to put up with her for the rest of the war."

I smiled. "I suppose so."


	7. Chapter 7

A quiet few weeks followed. There was little major Yeerk or Animorph activity, which at first I was glad of, but soon I found myself becoming increasingly restless. Whole days sat in the Chee's house with no distraction gave me far too much time to reflect on my new situation. I eventually began to realise I was lonely, a strange situation for a Yeerk to be in, given that we always had the company of either a host or a poolful of brothers and sisters. Having no sentient mind within a hundred metres was deeply, primally frightening. The only thing that broke the monotony were peace movement meetings, which I looked forward to hugely, but these were short and we dared not linger longer than we needed to.

I was almost glad, then, when Erek came down to me, a telephone pressed to his hologram's ear, and beckoned to me urgently.

"Jake's called me. They need to find an emergency Sharing meeting that contains his brother and father. I've narrowed the area down to a six-block by six-block space. There's a Senior Citizen Centre, a small strip mall with four stores, a small hardware store, and an auto-body shop. Also there are about seventy-five private homes. Jake called his dad's cell phone without talking and I analysed the call. I caught a snatch of conversation ending in the words 'normal hours'. I couldn't make out the rest. Any ideas where it could be?"

"I-" I tried to think. Erek's tone was urgent, fast-paced, giving me little time. "Probably not the homes," I said. "Or the Senior Citizen centre. It would probably be somewhere that would be open, but quiet. Where's the area?"

Erek told me. "The mini-mall," I said. "I know there's a small Yeerk pool entrance there, in the antique store. Not many Yeerks know about it, because it's so small."

"The mini mall," Erek reported back to Jake, who was yelling from the other end of the line. "The antique store." He listened for a few seconds, then put the phone down.

"I have to call Rachel and get her to inform the others, get them on to the other locations," he said.

"Can I do anything? Is there a second phone?"

He nodded. "Up in the house. Call Cassie. Get her to the hardware store."

I ran up to the main house and found a second phone. It must be connected to a different line so the Chee could make calls simultaneously: ingenious. I frantically punched Cassie's number, and she answered on the third ring.

"Hi, it's Cassie."

"Oh, hey Cassie," I said, straining to keep my voice sounding casual. I thought rapidly for a human pseudonym to give myself. I really should have agreed this before. In the end, I went for something she'd definitely recognise, despite the risk. "It's Erek's new friend Karen here."

It took Cassie a few seconds. "Oh, hey Karen."

"Listen, Jake's called. You know that new school project, the Geography one about retail? He was wondering if you could go check out the hardware store." I gave her some directions. "You know where I mean? It could be nothing, but Jake says he might be in real trouble with his dad if he fails this project."

"When?"

"Oh, just as soon as you can," I said, hoping she would take that to mean 'now, right now'.

"I'll get right onto it," she promised.

"That's great. See you," I said, putting down the phone.

I hurried back down to the secret basement area to find Erek. "What's going on?" I asked hurriedly.

"I'm not entirely sure," Erek admitted. "Jake just called to ask if any Sharing meetings are scheduled, saying Tom's taking his father to one. Basing on how panicked Jake sounds, I'm guessing Tom's planning to get his father infested. Though I can't see what would make him move so suddenly."

I shrugged. "I don't know either."

Erek and I sat together in silence, united by our anxiety and our inability to help beyond providing information. It was a long time before we learned any information about what had happened. Eventually, Marco called. He still sounded tense, and his conversation was short, but we learned that Jake's father was still Yeerk-free and both of them were safe. Marco called a meeting for later that night at Cassie's barn. A midnight meeting: this must be urgent.

Jake paced the barn, looking anxious.

"My Grandpa G died," he began.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said, looking a little puzzled.

"We all have to go out to the funeral this weekend. He lived in a little cabin in the middle of the woods; really isolated, the nearest town's tiny and still about fourteen miles away."

I suddenly had an idea where this was going. "How long?" I asked tersely.

"Four days."

Everyone else simultaneously went: "Ah."

"And how big's the cabin?" I asked.

Jake frowned. "Tiny. Tom and I are sharing a room. Tom's trying everything to get out of it, but there's no way Dad will let him show disrespect for Grandpa G."

"I still can't believe you took that kind of chance," Rachel said. "You should have waited for the rest of us."

"We weren't looking at a battle, just creating a diversion," Jake said. "Or we'd have waited for you."

(It was an urgent situation,) Ax said.

(It's a temporary victory, though,) Tobias pointed out. (Tom's going to keep trying. I'm guessing the Yeerks don't have any sort of contingency plan for this, or he wouldn't have panicked so much.)

"That is weird," Marco admitted. His face twisted for a second as he forced his next words out. "We know they have portable Kandronas."

I sighed. "If only it was that simple. If it's very isolated and there's no way for Tom to get to a Yeerk pool, a portable Kandrona would only work if either there was a soundproofed or sufficiently isolated private space, or if he had a voluntary host. Tom's going to scream blue murder even if his Yeerk can obtain a Pool with a neck lock, and those are rare and very hard to hide, so he probably can't. So Tom would be at liberty to kill his Yeerk, run away or show the Yeerk to the rest of the family. Even just transporting the portable Kandrona itself would be hard enough on a family road trip: it's big and heavy, and someone might ask what it was."

Marco nodded. "That kind of makes sense. What will the Yeerks do, though?"

"The Yeerks have a choice," Jake said, twisting his hands together. "Keep Tom in place by infesting my dad. Or they withdraw Tom's Yeerk, put it into a different host, and… and kill Tom to keep him from talking."

I jerked involuntarily, and put my hand to cover my gaping mouth. The latter was the most logical solution, but it hardly bore thinking about.

Marco nodded. "I hate to say it Jake, but it's probably the latter. Tom can't be that important to the Yeerks, surely?"

"No!" I exclaimed.

They all stared at me.

"What do you mean, Aftran?" Cassie asked gently.

"They won't," I said. "Not unless it's an absolute last resort. It's _shilish_… it's taboo, it's forbidden. I don't mean by the Empire, there's no law against it, and the Kandrona knows the Vissers have never paid any attention to it. Still, in the old Yeerk culture that persists in the lower ranks it's considered… just _wrong_."

(What is?) Tobias asked, puzzled.

"To kill a Yeerk-less host. Unless they're dying anyway, and it's a mercy kill. To kill them for strategic reasons like that is… it's just…" I had to pause. The rest of the group still looked disbelieving, and I searched in vain for a way to explain. "It's like killing a toddler would be to you. Even if it would save lives, if someone had strapped bombs to the child or something, it just feels wrong. You'd get some people who might be willing to make the ruthless choice, but it would be incredibly hard."

(I don't believe Yeerks would risk themselves to spare a host's life,) Ax sneered disbelievingly.

"Well, it's true. It's not true for every Yeerk, especially the highest ranking as they tend to be ruthless anyway, but to many ordinary Yeerks, the idea is sickening. Maybe it's sickening to Tom's Yeerk too. It would explain why he's so panicked. Either he dies, or he has to kill his host body. It isn't an easy choice. It makes him desperate and dangerous. He could do anything."

"There's one other choice he has," Rachel said slowly.

"Yeah," Jake said reluctantly.

"What choice?" Cassie asked.

"If the Yeerks can't make his father into a Controller fast enough, they could just kill him. I'm guessing _that_ wouldn't be taboo, Aftran? Not that I think the Yeerks will care when it comes down to it. And Tom would probably be the one to do it," Rachel said, looking at Jake.

"What do we do?" Cassie asked.

"Twenty-four hour surveillance," Jake replied.

I rode home on the bus deep in thought. I couldn't see a good outcome to this where everyone came out OK: not Tom, Jake's father and the Yeerk. Probably the best outcome would be to let his father be infested, however much extra suspicion that placed on Jake, but I knew Jake would never let that happen. And the Yeerk Empire could not afford to let Tom's Yeerk starve to death out there in the wilderness. It would leave Tom free to talk, free to escape. They could never risk that.

My insides twisted at the thought of how Tom's Yeerk must be feeling. I had come close enough to Kandrona starvation to know the terror that set in at the thought that it may be your fate. It was torture. Yet, to kill a host would be painful, too, almost unimaginably so. And Tom's Yeerk's other options, of infesting or killing Jake's father, were fraught with difficulty as well. His host would probably rather die than be forced to infest or kill his own father, whatever the Yeerk's feelings might be. _There must be another way,_ I thought to myself. But I could think of nothing.


End file.
